ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this is a venty post!... don't read if you're looking for upbeat stuff!

My head is fried.

I've been engaged 3 weeks, I don't even have my ring back yet from it getting re-sized and already I feel a huge amount of pressure on me from OTHER People.

If one more person asks me have I a date set... and follows the question with any fo the below phrases or variations of... I may just jump off a bridge

Statements: Have you the date set...

1. because I need a day out
2. when are you giving us a day out
3. i'm not getting any younger 
4. Do I need to buy a hat?

here's my issues

1. I have a huge family circle... its ridiculous... both my parents are from large families and they all just expect an invite regardless
2. Half of them I only ever see at weddings or funerals.. for that reason alone I refuse to invite people to my wedding when i'll never see them again for a long time, I barely speak to them and don't really have an interest in having them there
3. I want my day to be with the people i love and care about most... but i know that it will be difficult because.. my mother will feel it necessary to pander to the familes needs and i'll feel guilt... because families are great at that
4. i dont have the money to fund £40-£50 a head for a huge amount of people, and I will not be traking money from my parents just to cover people coming that I don't want there in the first place

I've been doing some looking, at venues (we'd love to get married abroad or in Scotland) and we've had minor disagreements about the amount of poeple, hes quite happy to invite only immediate family, but I just don't know where to begin, and then that starts rows about the fact we're only just engaged.

My head feels like its going to explode... I can see this all being one big stressful time, I mean it'll be at least 2 years before we get married, but noone else can just let me enjoy this engagement period at all... and its starting to really freak me out.

I had a huge argument with my mum last night, shes said her and dad want to pay for some of the wedding, my fiance doesn't want that and I don't really either for several reasons

1. they're pensioner with not much money, and i don't feel they should have to pay for it, despite what older generations feel
2. they feel they get an input into the actual wedding and guest list

anyway the argument came up after I said I didn't want a big wedding and it was how to be polite and diplomatic in telling people so, and she blurted out... "you either invite all or none that's how its done"

I said if you think you get a say you can think again to which she replied, its the brides parents who make the guest list anyway... again I responded with... "no I will not be paying X pounds a head for people I never see and am unlikely to see after it" and again she just said, you invite all or none, and if that's the case don't bother inviting me.. and with that,... she made it her wedding!!

I was so shocked I couldn't speak! and i barely slept last night and today I'm just a mixture of furious and upset.

My fiance and I are sorting out a home first and I'm even amazed she is ok with that, but i'm holding onto the hope that by the time we get settled into our own place she'll understand that she can't bulldoze the wedding.

guys I need advice, any words or encouragement or support would be so welcome right now... what should I say.. how do I get control of my own life back. its ridiculous, I'm coming 30 and still can't win these battles. whats worse is my Fiance is right.. he knew this would happen!!

:o( N